One of worst things about chronic illnesses, I find, is the unpredictable effect it has on your mood.
Without realising it or knowing why, it can make you short tempered and snappy with those around you; those you love. You end up saying things that you don’t really mean and later regret but alas, by then the damage is done and you have fucked up what was shaping up to be a perfectly good day.
You have hurt the ones that you treasure most in life, simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You know this; you can see it happening right there in front of you but feel powerless to stop it which in turn makes you angry and frustrated and before very long you find yourself on the all-too-familiar helter-skelter of emotion with a one-way ticket to the depths of despair accompanied by an overwhelming urge to either sob your heart out or scream in rage at the universe for putting you in that position, (or both).
What can you do?
What can you say?
“Sorry.”
Darren Scanlon
21st February 2015
THE PEN & THE PAGE 
Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel, well not your body, but your mind. My afflictions are varied and a good deal less severe than yours, but, yeah, they can ruin a good day and make me cranky as hell. Thank heaven we have understanding partners who keep on listening to our apologies and forgiving us. On a (semi) good day, we can do housework, laundry, play ball with the pup. On a bad one, we are pharmacist of home remedies and doctors’ prescriptions … most bad days however cannot be drugged away and those are the days we REALLY turn nasty. My brave and wise husband reminds me (quaking from behind a closed door) that I have to forgive myself too for going grouchy on him. Think about it. It’ll be OTAY, Panky.
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There’s a lot of truth in there, Sharon. 😉
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